Hello Spring!

Have you missed me? I haven't been posting to my blog much these days. Although I have been writing tons of drafts, never satisfied with my writing they just sit there waiting to never be published. Im in a place in life where Im not sure what I want to share with the internet anymore. Should I spill my guts on this blog and just put all of our life out here for the world to see.. or maybe just the good things that make our life seem a little too close to perfect? Today I want to share the recent happenings in life and maybe Ill decide in the near future what the direction of this sad little blog is going.

Where to start? 
Sophia just turned five and I nearly had a mental breakdown. Five years old, I cant seem to fathom that she's so big already. It always seems like just yesterday she was born, rolling over for the first time, walking for the first time, or saying her first word. Now she's nearing the end of preschool and is registered for a full day of Kindergarten in the fall. She is so smart, incredibly tall, super funny, and an all around joy to have in our life. Im so thankful and blessed that I get to be her mother and watch her grow into her big personality!

AJ just celebrated his 28th birthday (getting close to the big 3 0)  We have been having a lot of talks about the future making a 3-5 year plan. He will be going to trade school at night school in the fall while still working 40-60 hours a week. He really wants to be able to provide the very best life for his children and me, and he wants to be able to have a better job with more pay, better benefits, and maybe even a retirement fund. Im a lucky lady that he really wants to work so hard for us.

Dexter is two a half and living up to the hype of his age. In to everything and a little nuts some days. He really enjoys play-doh and painting and that seems to be the best choices when I need a little quiet time even if tis a bit messy. He blows me away with how smart he is and he has the vocabulary of an almost four year old. I give all that credit to Sophia for never acting like he was younger then her and playing with him like he is her age. I still haven't gotten the nerve to cut his luscious blonde locks. His little curls that bounce when he runs just make me so happy and the length doesn't seem to be bothering him yet so I wont be cutting it any time soon.

and I guess all that leaves is me, I can't really decide where I am at right now. Im in the motions of repetitive days that come with motherhood. School, housework, playtime, dinner, bath time, and bed. I was debating on trying to start school but with Sophia's school schedule, AJ's work schedule, and needing to find childcare that just doesn't seem possible right now. Im in a weird phase right now wanting to do more then what I am doing now. My kids are gaining more independence, and In not sure what I want to do with my future. I love being a stay at home mom and wife and being able to enjoy every moment with the kids.. but I feel like I can do more. Id love to be pregnant and expecting another baby but that doesn't seem to be in our two year plan and that makes me sad. But I am also going to try and focus a little more on myself, my writing, my hobbies, and my overall well being.
So heres to hoping I can find a little bit more of me buried under this all mom all wife all the time.