Monday, June 1, 2015

Separation anxiety

Ive suffered from separation anxiety for a pretty long time now. Once I found safety and real love in my husband I felt this insane anxiousness when we would have to be apart, even just for work or a few hours. I think It started to worsen when I got pregnant with Sophia and has slowly quickly escalated. I have never left my children over night, except sophia once to give birth to dexter. I have never left them for a full day even. Not that I haven't needed it, but we don't really have anyone to rely on to help give me or us a little break from the kids.. Ive never spent more then 10-12 hours away from my husband in the last five to six years. By the end of those hours I feel a tightening in my chest a panicked feeling until he is back in my eyesight and arms and I am calm. I know this probably sounds insane to most of you. I think, or more like I know I have pulled some of these issues from my childhood. I also know I need to work on them.

That being said, the realization that I have an issue has really come to light lately because Sophia has started to show severe signs of separation anxiety from me. Its probably from her feeling it from me, never being away from me, never having anyone take care of her but me for the last 4 years. Its become a bit extreme and we are taking big steps to correct this and help her understand it is okay and I will be back. It was to the point I couldn't leave the room without her screaming hysterically that she missed me and needed me. I could tell she was stressed and feeling the anxiety, so to help her I am working on me too. I just want the very best for my children, I may have over compensated for that by being a hovering over protective mother. I have got to find that common ground of being a great mother but also giving her and I the space we need to keep our relationship healthy and happy.
I hope I am not alone in this. I hope this will help other mothers, women, men, kids, whom ever that is suffering from anxiety. You are not alone, I am not alone.

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